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We all have cheeky little pre-bedtime rituals that we do in the shadows. Perhaps you make it a mission to read a chapter or two of a book before dozing off into dreamland. Or perhaps you mindlessly scroll on TikTok instead, further feeding into your freakily-good algorithm until your eyelids close. Me, I have a more specific habit that I enjoy doing night after night: I take great delight in watching complete strangers buy a Birkin bag.
Now, can I afford a luxurious Hermès Birkin, which can go for upwards of $40,000 (with some priced in the six figures)? Absolutely not. My budget is more aligned with the Wirkin (look it up). But even so, for the past few months, I have obsessively watched countless well-off customers treat themselves to a Birkin bag on LoveLuxury’s TikTok page, where the sale exchanges are theatrically filmed as skits for our viewing pleasure. (LoveLuxury is a secondhand store with locations in London and Dubai, both fast becoming a destination for rare and luxurious bags.)
@loveluxury.co.uk Do you think her husband knows how much she spent? 👀😳 #fyp #millionaire #hermès
If you need me in the evenings, you can now find me in bed, watching as a new customer enters the boutique and shops for a new Birkin to celebrate their birthday or promotion. (One customer purchased the aspirational accessory to celebrate marrying a millionaire—goals.) Sure, I cannot relate to the interactions, but night after night, I have found that I can fantasize about choosing between gold or palladium hardware, or weigh the pros and cons of a Birkin 25 versus a Birkin 30. (Me, personally? Birkin 30, all the way). It has become my twisted little form of evening escapism.
There is a sense of joy and entertainment, after all, in trying to relate to the one percent. “This is a bit too gray,” one client will say, doubting a perfectly-chic neutral Birkin. Ah, yes, I will agree. Far too gray-hued. “I’m not so sure this will go with many different outfits,” another will ponder of a two-tone style, while I shake my head in agreement. Too trendy. Who am I to act so discerning? If I were ever to be offered a Birkin, in any shape or color, I would simply take it and run for the hills. (You can sell that baby in five years, and make a serious return!)
@loveluxury.co.uk What was your most memorable birthday gift? 😱👀👜 #fyp #birkin #birthday
But that’s not the point of these videos, is it? As LoveLuxury’s 3.5 million TikTok followers can attest to, there is something highly addicting about seeing what rare and beautiful Birkin bags remain to be discovered out there—and what levels people will go to get them. I do not know these shoppers, but I feel happy for them, being able to treat themselves as a way to mark a serious milestone. Plus, there are worse bedtime habits to partake in, no? I’m simply shopping with my eyes; I’m not harming anyone! Well, maybe just my own Birken-less self-esteem. But maybe one day, I will find myself on this exact same TikTok page, ready to buy myself one. Until then: If anyone would like to send me a Brikin 30 in black with palladium hardware, the lines are open!